So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
