u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i dont even know how to be here
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
