tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
