I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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