Rock
Scissors
Fuck
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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