we have officially lost it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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