I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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