hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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