have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
