honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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