you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
