i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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