Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
