Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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