There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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