she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
