I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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