I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
