My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
