oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
