he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
