I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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