NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
