I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
