i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
