oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
