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Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They have beer where we have blood.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
