just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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