i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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