Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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