Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why do cheetos always look like penises
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
