I puked a lego.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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