i just wanna soil my oats bro
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got inside last night via doggy door
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
