Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
