it hurts more in the daytime
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
