Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
