My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
