and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I AM VODKA MAN
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
