i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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