How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
