I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
