I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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