I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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