well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
