it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
