I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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