I hate your face
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
