so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
whose parrot is this?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize