eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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