Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
