It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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