I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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