At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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