I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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