He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Randomize
