So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
