do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
its liver damage thursday
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize