she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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