How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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