dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
