Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
