I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
