Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
