i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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